Episode 7 : Mencari bintang

Posted: Monday, April 14, 2008 by -f-l-o- in Labels:

‘Do you remember this?’ She opened her palm and revealed a bunch of seashells glued together forming a familiar shape.
‘Yes, I remember’
‘Do you remember what the shape is called in Malay?’
‘Yes I do. It’s bintang.’
‘Well done, my darling. Do you remember who taught you Malay?’
I nodded, pointed at her and she smiled. And then she threw the bintang to the sea and turned to look at me.
‘Why did you do that?’ I asked.
‘Did you like the bintang?’ She asked back. I nodded.
‘Let me tell you something… ' She held my hand.
'In life, you will meet people that you like from time to time. There will be times when you lose them, like the bintang. It’s always hard to get hold of something you like but if you believe in it, it will come back to you. How and when, it’s up to you to decide. You may make a new bintang and make it your own... You may also wait for the same bintang to come back, swept to the shore by the wave… but you may not get it back the same form when it went away. And also, you may want to look for it yourself, back to where you threw it but remember to do it only when the waves are gentle and water is clear, you will only want to fight the wave when it's a bit calmer otherwise…’
‘Otherwise?’ I asked but she was gone.

I woke up to the sound of the trolley along the seat corridor. The air stewardess was serving breakfast. I thought a while about the dream. It’s been a while since I dreamt of Mom. I remember walking with her along the beach when I was little but I don’t remember talking to her about any seashells or stars. Maybe she is trying to tell me something about what I am doing right now.

My head is slightly in a mess for the time being. I wonder if she is telling that I should not have been doing this in my current unsettled condition.

Here I am, thousands of feet above the sky, on my way to Malaysia after finding out that James has been cheating on me. Screw the conference, I’m looking for a new star in the east.